you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
