I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Randomize