The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
