My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
