Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i think i have two assholes
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
All the doctor said was why
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
