never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I have aggressive nipples.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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