What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize