we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
