your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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