So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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