What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i think i have two assholes
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
