Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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