i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
