Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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