Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
