The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
