i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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