Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
