what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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