I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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