scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
