...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
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