sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
