There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
