Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
