The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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