I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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