Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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