you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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