the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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