Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
