so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
