Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Threesome in a minivan. New low
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
