Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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