to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
