She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
