she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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