oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
