ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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