There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
