Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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