guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
