i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
