...so i touched it.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
