OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
