so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
