So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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