Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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