My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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