operation harelip BJ is a go
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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