How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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