You can't motorboat a personality
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
