it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Never underestimate the power of titties
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
