The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
