we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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