I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
