I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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