I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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