...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize