carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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