whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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