they need to just BURY HIM!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
