so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Randomize
